The most important quality of effective communication is listening. It begins with removing distractions from your mind and focusing on the speaker. Avoid the temptation to interrupt. More often than not, we tend to interrupt with our own thoughts and ideas; in other words, our own agenda. It is helpful to make eye-contact with the speaker and let them know with the nod of the head or an affirming word that you understand. When they are finished sharing, provide feedback by first repeating back your understanding of the speaker's message.You will communicate more effectively with others if you are clear about what you intend to communicate. By knowing your purpose, you will also be able to choose more effectively whether to communicate publicly or privately; orally or in writing. You can also enhance the clarity of your message in several ways:
- Know your group and deliver a message at the right level.
- Know your group’s frame of reference. What lens or grid of expectations are they peering through?
- Sometimes you may even have to create a common frame of reference to allow your message to be understood.
- Use unambiguous terms and congruent verbal and nonverbal signals to match the content of your message.
- Actively ensure that your group understands your message by soliciting feedback and paying attention to their verbal and nonverbal cues. (It is estimated that only 10% of actual communication is delivered in spoken words. The rest comes to us in the attitude of the body.)
Communication Tips
- Encourage – a lot
- Clarify expectations throughout your group’s life – how are participants growing?
- 90% of communication is non-verbal so muster up plenty of warm smiles
- Give your full attention to people when they’re talking to you – maintain eye contact
- Repeat back questions before responding to ensure you’re answering the right question
- LISTEN before thinking of what you’re going to say next – don’t be afraid of pauses
- Model humility – this communicates more than you’ll ever know (Philippians 2:1-11).
- When needed, confront instead of harboring frustration (voice the complaint first with the person privately and directly then follow-up with sincere encouragements)
- Take the time to pull participants aside and ask them how they’re really doing – show you care
- Think before speaking (respond, don’t react)


