Practices of Effective Small Group Leaders – Part 2 of 2

Follow these practical steps to get your group started in the right direction - 1 Timothy 4:12

Be Flexible with Your Curriculum
When using a pre-packed study, read ahead one session or chapter and see if you can reduce the amount of material covered by half. This will help the group feel more focused and less rushed, which actually boosts the overall participation.

Remember that some questions and exercises will work for one group of people, but not for another. You will learn what your group connects with best over time. By tailoring the study plan, discussions will feel more lively, natural, and relevant for everyone.

Be Flexible with Your Agenda
Don’t get locked in to a regimented schedule for your group’s gatherings. There will be times when the group tracks with what you anticipated and planned to cover. There will be other times when it does not. Community-building is not an orderly, mechanistic process—so be flexible. Prioritize the principle of staying “on-track” behind the personal needs that arise in the group.

For example, when someone shares a difficult situation or problem that they are dealing with, make time to pray for that person as a group. Stop what you are doing and care for him or her instead of pressing forward to complete all the questions for that session.

Listen Well
Oftentimes, people concentrate so much on what they think about a statement, or what they want to say in response to that statement, that they really don’t hear what the other person is actually saying. This lack of listening can be devastating to a group’s mutual trust. So be sure to establish the principle of “hearing one another” as an expression of “loving one another.”

Do this by encouraging group participants not to interrupt when another person is speaking, or to be too quick in offering advice that will “solve” the person’s problems. In addition, pat answers—“all things work together for good”—or attempts to “fix” the person speaking both end only in frustration.

Finally, don’t just sympathize—empathize. It’s easy to listen when a person is speaking. But it’s entirely a different thing to put yourself in that person’s shoes and compassionately enter his or her story. As a leader, taking the time to empathize with your group members shows that you understand and care for them.

Care for Your Members
Display a genuine care for your group participants, and do so both inside and outside of meetings. Be available to your group as needs arise, and make sure that each person knows you are available. Remember that some of the best moments of relationship building occur outside of scheduled meeting times—connection “outside” fuels connection “inside.”

Be Accountable to Your Members
Last by not least, lead participants to a place where they can find the courage to confess their sins to each another and experience the healing God wants to bring (James 5:16). Doing so prevents sin from festering inside of your members and promotes wholeness. Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s words reveal the importance of practicing confession in your small group:

In confession the breakthrough to community takes place.
Sin demands to have a man by himself. It withdraws him from the community.
The more isolated a person is, the more destructive will be the power of sin over him.
And the more deeply he becomes involved in it, the more disastrous is his isolation.
Sin wants to remain unknown. It shuns the light.
In the darkness of the unexpressed, it poisons the whole being of a person….
In confession, the light of the Gospel breaks into the darkness and seclusion of the heart.
The sin must be brought into the light.

As the leader, you can take the first steps in this process by sharing doubts you have faced, principles God has taught you through weakness, and personal struggles in applying God’s Word and living a life of faith. Don’t worry about being on an island for long—everyone will quickly relate to your experiences and find more freedom in their own confession as a result.

Practices of Effective Small Group Leaders – Part 1 of 2

Follow these practical steps to get your group started in the right direction - 1 Timothy 4:12

Without a doubt, small group leaders have the greatest influence over the atmosphere and dynamics within their groups. They set the tone, whether positively or negatively, for all aspects of group life.

Fortunately, new group leaders don’t have to figure out what to do (and not do) completely on their own. By upholding the following ten principles, you will be well on your way toward setting a positive example in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity (1 Timothy 4:12). What is more, your skills as a leader will improve each week through the positive experiences provided by following these principles.

Pray for Your Members
Like most things in life, small group leaders should begin with prayer. Consider making it a personal goal to pray for each group member by name on a regular basis—and don’t be afraid to let them know you’re doing it. If you ask them how you can be praying for them, be sure to follow-up.

It’s helpful to jot down notes during the group’s prayer time in order to keep their needs fresh in your mind through the week. This also allows you to recall specific requests in future meetings, which reinforces your group’s bond.

Be Authentic
It’s important that a leader model authenticity and vulnerability during the group’s spiritual discussions. In fact, this can be the greatest contributing factor to your group’s discussion dynamic. Realness is contagious; it has a magnetic force that raises the level of honesty and cohesion in your group. In other words, you help others to be themselves when you are able to be yourself.

In the beginning of a group’s life together, the leader is usually the one who initiates conversations, presents questions, and takes the risk of sharing personal responses. But rest assured—full participation will soon follow from the rest of the group.

Encourage your Members
Don’t be content with saying nice things every once and a while—lavish encouragement on your group participants. You can do this by building them up with kind and compassionate words; serving them through your gifts; reminding them of who they are in Christ; affirming their gifts and positive contributions to the group; and sharing how they are needed, gifted, and called to ministry. Here’s a principle you can take to the bank: people don’t grow tired of being encouraged. Your consistent effort to lift up group members shows care, validates them, and encourages more involvement in the group.

Empower Your Members
This aspect of small-group leadership is often overlooked. Make sure to help people find a way to contribute to the group and fulfill God’s purposes for it. Your members want to make a difference and add value to the group, and there are multiple benefits to helping them do so:
* Believers’ gifts are developed as they deploy them.
* Your load is eased.
* Your group becomes well-rounded, builds ministry synergy, & makes more of an impact.
* Participants experience more of Christ as people express the gifts he has imparted.
In short, small-group leaders should think of themselves as administrators of gift deployment.

Look Outward
As a leader, cultivate an outward-orientation to your group’s thinking and practice. Most groups naturally slide toward introversion and isolation unless the leader intentionally develops an external focus. But God’s grace will flow more freely in and through your group when people are not focused on themselves. What is more, your members will experience greater fulfillment when they pour themselves out for others and use their gifts and resources to serve.

To accomplish an outward focus, start with the group’s prayer time. This is a strategic moment where you can influence members to think of their friends and neighbors who have yet to experience Christ. Also, encourage participants to invite their friends, and brainstorm ways your group can reach out together through evangelistic acts of service.

Simple Small Group Study

1. Less is More – Prepare…but not too much. Pull together only HALF as much as you think you’ll have time to go through in a single gathering. Generally, facilitators with LESS material on hand to go through find themselves more open to the conversation going new and different directions. Conversely, facilitators with MORE material prepared to cover experience more pressure to progress through it. You want to be time-conscious, but not too ambitious about what can be achieved during a highly-relational 1-2 hour meeting.

2. Point to the destination…but don’t give too much direction on how to get there. Think of ONE thing you’d like for your group participants to walk away with. What do you hope they’ll learn or feel as a result of your study and discussion? For example, “I hope each person will learn in a deeper way that Jesus is with her every moment of every day and therefore will experience more of His peace in her daily life.” What matters in the study time is not how much ground you cover as it is how much transformation happens within members’ hearts. This can happen through study content, but more often, it occurs through Spirit-led human interaction.

3. Guide, don’t direct – Be flexible with the “agenda” and avoid over-facilitation. Trust the Lord with how the study and conversation flows. The tendency is the more a facilitator speaks, the less responsive people get.

The response ratios below, which measure how the number of people in a group affects individual participation, don’t always hold true because every group’s dynamic is unique. However, it’s good to be aware of these ‘interpersonal laws’ because they can prompt you to know how to encourage greater interactivity. Increased interactivity results in more energetic and fruitful conversation. Besides, following the other ‘simple rules’ shared in this section compresses these response ratio results.

4. Recap and Refocus – Share what the group accomplished together and a basic plan for your next gathering. This instills a since of accomplishment and purpose for group members. It shows them that you have a plan (albeit unfolding) and that you’re all going someplace together. This simple practice boosts participants’ commitment and brings more focus to the course of your study overall.

5. Don’t meet up to the last minute – Give people time to unwind and socialize toward the end of each gathering; it’s a simple way to foster unity and inclusion in the group. This is more likely to create a positive conclusion for everyone, which will leave them with an increased desire to come back for more. This also ensures all participants, particularly those who have to get home for the sake of their kids or the next-day’s schedule, can do so without stress and enjoy the company of the whole group.


# of People Participative Response
3-6 Everyone speaks
7-10 Almost everyone speaks, quieter people say less, 1 or 2 may not
11-18 5 or 6 people speak a lot, 3 or 4 others join in occasionally
19-30 3 or 4 people dominate
More than 30 Little participation possible

Source: Pretty et al. (1995): PLA Guide

Having An Abundance Mentality Toward Newcomers

Our group members are very focused on evangelism and often bring new people to group meetings. What is the best way to incorporate these new members into a group without interrupting that group's intimacy and momentum?

First off, that’s awesome how your group members are very focused on evangelism and are bringing new people to your group meetings. This is vital for groups to grow healthy and balanced and not all get to experience that!

The belief that new members actually interrupt a small group’s intimacy and momentum is largely unsubstantiated and unbiblical. It is a false premise that has become popular in much small group ministry thinking because that’s what many expect would happen. On the contrary, new members feed into a group’s intimacy and momentum. The idea they take away from it comes more out of a kind of thinking that is protective, hoarding, territorial, and self-focused. Oftentimes, the group-life produced from this mindset eventually implodes after coasting to a slow and painful stop.

On the other hand, I’ve observed that the groups with the greatest intimacy and momentum are the ones that are uninhibitedly incorporating new members into their fellowship. The Lord sources life into small groups that let His grace flow in and though them. This also protects your group from spiritual stalemate and relational irritants like pettiness or preoccupation with non-essential theological issues. That said, there are things you can be sensitive to as the small group leader that will help your group to naturally embrace and include new members:

1) Warmly welcome newcomers into your group. Learn a little about them as you greet them and walk them into your gathering space. Do your best to remember facts they share about who they are, their family and friends, and how they found your group. On this note, one of most simple and powerful ways of helping a newcomer feel ‘at home’ in your group is to call them by their first name each time you refer to them. Connect them with a few people as they come in and help to strike up conversations before your study begins.

2) Do not focus on them. Most guests like to be acknowledged – they just do not like to stand out or be spotlighted in front of a group. If you keep things normal the group will feel more natural and comfortable to newcomers.

3) Do not over-accommodate. Just be yourself and allow the group to be itself. For example, do not hesitate to pray or worship in your group if newcomers are present. (Sometimes this is exactly what God uses to gather spiritually-unconvinced people to Himself – see Acts 2:46-47.) If somebody needs prayer, pray for them. If you are going to worship, just do it. Do not attempt to explain it for newcomers. They want to see things how they really are and would rather not have you disrupt the flow of what you do on their account.

4) The more people your guests sense a possible connection with, the more likely it is they will want to return. Help newcomers get to know a few others in your group. The likelihood of newcomers returning increases by at least 50% if they experience a sense of belonging through their connection with others. This can be cultivated by highlighting things your guests hold in common with other group members and timely follow-up.

5) Find out what subjects your guests have an enthusiasm or expertise in and talk about that! People like to talk about things they know about. Newcomers will feel more empowered and comfortable talking about the things of interest to them. If you listen with interest, you will show that you are interested in them as a person and they will not feel like a project.

6) When you have guests, leave plenty of time for people to socialize at the tail-end of your group. Newcomers tend to be more interested in being more personal toward the end of a group than the beginning. This will give time to introduce your group members to guests and have relaxed conversations.

7) Follow-up with newcomers before your next meeting to let them know you hope to see them again. If a guest came with somebody, encourage their friend to welcome them back. Sometimes group leaders hold off from following up in this way because they’re afraid of being intrusive or coming across as pushy. However, guests appreciate this act of kindness and it makes your group more inviting overall. If you do not risk the remote possibility of coming across as intrusive in your follow-up, newcomers may feel like they are intruding.

Group Devotionals for Easter

“Christ is Risen!”

Easter is all about the bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. New life! We are forgiven because of Jesus’ sacrifice and we are assured of eternal life together with Him because He is our risen Lord. As a group, reflect on what you’ve been given through God’s forgiveness and discuss the importance of forgiving others. Invite each person to discuss and decide to extend forgiveness to somebody who has in some way hurt them in the past. An alternative for those who are not in the place to take part in this exercise is to have a group conversation about how we can show God’s forgiveness to the world this Easter season.


Applying Jesus’ Death & Resurrection to Our Lives

1. Share a potluck meal together
2. As the group is eating, read John 13-17 in one sitting and explain how this happened on the eve of Jesus’ crucifixion (“Maundy Thursday,” which refers to the command given by Jesus at The Last Supper that his disciples should love one another).
3. Provide a brief explanation of Jesus’ suffering that culminated on the Cross and what Good Friday and Easter mean to Christians around the world (www.thepassionofthechrist.com and www.leestrobel.com/Christ.htm offer helpful resources).
4. Next, ask your group to consider these questions: What in your life needs to be put to death? (Colossians 3:5) What needs to be resurrected in your life? (Romans 6:12-14)
5. Explain that you’re applying Jesus’ death and resurrection to our daily lives. Let them think about these questions as you read Romans 8.
6. Optional: Give each person a small card or journal where they can write down in a word or sentence what their response is for each question.
7. Restate the questions and be ready to share first. Try to include everyone in the conversation, and pray for one another.

Four Things You Can Do That Will Ensure Your New Group Takes Flight

Group leaders who make these simple steps before launching their group will increase the likelihood of their new group taking flight by 2-3 times than those who don’t.

1)Pair-up – There’s good reason why Jesus sent out His disciples 2x2 (Luke 10). Find a friend and tell them you’d love for them to partner with you in the start-up of a new group. This creates built-in encouragement for you that will further ensure you won’t drift away or drop-out from God’s complete plan for your new group (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

2)Pre-vite – Make the effort to invite people into your group before it even starts. Contact your friends and invite them to be a part of your group; then invite them to invite their friends too. The goal is to create your group’s nucleus before you even go public with your group. In other words, don’t wait to form your group until the launch date. Start inviting ASAP and view the “launch week” as an opportunity to build off the core you’ve already encouraged to come together.

3)Plan Ahead – Have a vision for what you’d like to see happen in your group

Affinity – What people hold in common has a way of attracting and bonding people together in a group. “Affinity” can motivate some people to join a group who would have otherwise not been interested in participating.

Vision – Catch a vision for what you’d like to see happen in your group! What do you want to see happening a month from its launch? What would you like your experience to be? Try to forecast the experience you hope participants will have and convey that in your promotions. Vision will help to set expectation, ensure more “right fits” with prospective members, and it helps people feel more comfortable in their new commitment.

Short duration / High Frequency – Groups that launch with a shorter duration (4-6 weeks) and meet uninterrupted every week have a much greater chance of sticking together after their first season than those who don’t. This combination of meeting logistics works well in the American culture. People entering a new situation like to know there’s an ending point just in case the group experience proves not to be a fit for them. Furthermore, the weekly meeting frequency accelerates relationship-building and actually creates more time for people to get to know each other; this is because groups that meet bi-weekly/monthly find themselves allocating more time for members to “catch-up” before they can build off their previous group experience.

Food – Don’t underestimate the attractional power of food. It’s the ultimate ice-breaker! Food conveys hospitality – it brings people together, makes people feel more at ease (at home), creates conversation, and enables people to open up more together. Groups that include food as a part of their first gatherings (especially a meal) amplify their message of welcome to newcomers-to-be.

Childcare – As soon as you know you’ll have people in your group with childcare needs, talk about options for childcare so you can convey this to other people inquiring. If your host home has a play area for the kids, communicate that in your promotions. People with young kids will be instantly drawn to groups that express an early plan (no matter how simple it may be) for how kids can be a part of the group or be in another location of the host home while the adults meet.

4)Pictorial Promotions – When letting the rest of your church know about your new group, help people to construct mental pictures of what they can anticipate by ‘advertising’ everything you just planned (affinity, vision, food, and childcare). The more questions you can answer up-front, the better. This also helps them to invite friends to join them who may not have any prior church / small group experience.

The Truth about Authenticity – Part 2 of 2

Arguably, the greatest influence on the dynamic of a small group is how real the group leader is with the participants. In fact, the health of a group is directly linked to how free people feel they can be with one another. Authenticity is the key to success as a small group leader. Here are some truths and tips on how to build it in your group-life.

1. Most people can only be themselves when they feel safe and a safe environment is born out of authentic leadership – truth and trust go hand-in-hand
   
2. God is more easily found in a community that tells the truth about themselves
   
3. Rarely do masks fit the people who make them – they disguise a person’s true self and prevent genuine relationship
   
4. Removing your own mask helps others to recognize their own dependency on Christ
   
5. Change is effected by authenticity
   
6. God wants you to be real…after-all, He made you
   
7. Since truth is an attribute of God, authenticity is an expression of Christ-likeness
   
8. People smell authenticity…and its counterpart – they will react accordingly
   
9. The effect of the small group leader's authenticity is not unlike that which a mother duck has on her ducklings – demonstrated transparency from leadership has tremendous “imprinting power”
   
10. The sharing of personal need is worshipful when it’s couched in your own continuous need of grace
    
11. Transparency allows others to see Christ in you
    
12. The opposite of everything above can be caused by inauthenticity