Modeling & Encouraging a Healthy Group Dynamic

You can help each participant feel more a part of what God is doing in your group by learning and applying the following skills in your small group facilitation:

Model Openness and Vulnerability
This will set the pace of your small group, enabling people to be themselves. In the beginning you will need to bear the weight in initiating conversation. Lead your small group out of doldrums, but respect silence. Eventually, your courage in disclosure will embolden people to step out and share their true selves so God’s grace can flow to them and others in your group.

Use the Four R’s to Facilitate Dynamic Discussion

• Recognize:
  ...respond to each person who speaks or expresses a spoken/unspoken emotion. This can be done verbally or with a simple gesture.

• Restate
  ...repeat what has been said in order to bring clarity for the group and to ensure you understand what the speaker is saying.

• Relate:
  ...remember similar experiences you and others may relate to the speaker so that person knows they’re not alone.

• Recall
  ...re-group by summarizing the flow of conversation from the evening and recurrent themes so as to bring meaningful closure to your small group's meeting. This can be done with an informal recap or spontaneously in prayer.

Don't Just Sympathize...Empathize (Romans 12:15; 1 Corinthians 12:26)
It is easy to listen to a person who is speaking. It is another thing to really hear what they’re saying. Enter into the story of another by identifying with them, putting yourself in their shoes. Reflect your empathy to people so they know that you understand and care.

Be Specific about Inviting People to Share
If throwing out an invitation to everyone in your small group works as a way to stimulate discussion then do that. If not, select individuals to share as a means to generate discussion. Identify those who appear to be more open from the outset and use them jump start conversation. This might motivate the shier people in your group to begin sharing what they are feeling and thinking.

Dig Deeper
Often statements people make are loaded with either positives or negatives. If you sense there is more to what someone is saying prompt them to share more. Teach your small group participants to do this by doing it yourself. Participants might not feel safe enough to do this toward the beginning of your small group life. You do not want to embarrass someone, so probe with caution.

Establish the Option to "Pass"
From the outset, let people know it’s “okay” to pass when called upon to share. When people become more real, they take more risk. Some are more able to do this than others—respect this. As the small group leader you will need to draw some people out, but walk with them while doing this (i.e., encourage them...don't pressure them).

Hear First!
Frequently, we are more interested in what we want to say or what we think we should say in response to a person sharing that we don’t really hear what they’re saying. Establish the principle of "hearing one another" from the outset. Tell your small group participants not to interrupt the person speaking or to be too quick to offer "advice" to "fix" the person's problems. Job's friends made the same mistake and God's response to their "problem-solving" was unmistakably clear (Job 42:7-8).